While you've provided quite a bit of information, there are still somethings that are unclear.
The questions I have are:
1. What are you trying to accomplish? Being able to spar and have more self confidence? Knowing you can defend yourself in a streethfight?
2. When you have trained with personal trainers, what did they say your problem was?
3. What were you trying to learn?
4. Out of all the arts you've tried, which seems the most comfortable to you?
5. What are your strengths and weaknesses in the martial arts?
6. Do you have any videos of you sparring?
Here's my opinion.
You don't have to study from a master or a SEAL... you need to find someone who can teach well, and be able to be patient with you.
I have been training in the martial arts for over 30 years, and even I don't have all the answers. Not even close.
Out of all the people I've worked with, each person had something positive they brought to the table. I'm sure there's a strategy or technique you do very well.
My opinion is to build off your strengths. What you are good at, let's make you excellent at. What you are weak at, you should work on until it's not a weakness. This can take a long time.
If I was your instructor, I would have you spar at half speed and half power. Also, I would have someone video tape your sparring sessions. I would really have to see your spar before I can say where you are making your mistakes.
Are you dropping your hands? Do you have inefficient footwork? I don't know.
This is a stretch, but I'm thinking part of your lack of progress is a mental or psychological issue.
I think it may have to do with your fear of getting hurt. It might be that you have a non-aggressive personality, and in an aggressive environment like fighting, you subconsciously shut down. It also may have to do with a lack of confidence. I'm not saying you don't have confidence in your daily life, but at martial arts, it appears you don't.
You may want to seek a sports psychologist to help. At least consider it.
For self defense, the closest thing to do it well is to spar. The more realistic and harder your sparring sessions, the more confidence you'll have. But, it's a progression. Like I said, if I was your instructor, I would have you go at half speed and power, until I could analyze what your strengths and weaknesses were.
Having a good school with a bunch of different types of fighters helps. That way you aren't going against the same type of opponent all the time. In a good school, your classmates should recognize your strengths and weaknesses, and help you as well.
I would have the students fight either at your level, or slightly above it. This will help you to progress and evolve.
Last piece of advice. At your age, I would highly recommend that you pick an art and stick with it. Cross training is something I don't advice for you at this stage. What you need to do is pick one art, style or discipline, and get good at it first. Then once you have, you can think of cross training.
Hope this helps.
Some people are simply not born fighters or aggressive. Bo OK with that. There is no shame in that. If you still enjoy martial arts there is not sense in quitting either. Maybe your expectations are a bit unrealistic.
I never liked the fighting part a whole lot to begin with either but did OK with it but as I am getting older I do not like to fight at all. Injuries take longer to heal and while they heal my training is impaired and it simply is just not worth it to me anymore. At 50 you simply don't have a lifetime anymore and if you like training you don't want to spend that time healing from something stupid you did.
To defend or the lack thereof is not the fault of trainers. or styles or technique. I think it is a mental issue. Your mind tells you you don't want to get hurt and you are smart enough to know that is you fight you will get hurt. Most trainers, teachers, schools run you through all your drills and exercises but they do not drill the mind and the intend and the will to maim or worse. To do takes mental conditioning as well. Some people simply come better programmed for violence than others.
Your problem is not your age or your body, but your mind - your attitude to be specific.
Self-defense requires a mindset that cannot be taught, but has to be developed from within. Your passivity is part of the problem not in that you are passive, but you are too passive. You claim to have studied all those martial arts so you are familiar with the Yin-Yang symbol and the philosophy behind that - a man out of balance cannot achieve his full potential. For example, your lifestyle choice of being a vegan. This may sound like I'm trying to come down on you, but it is not. To me, veganism is an extreme form of vegetarianism. Even a Buddhism is allow to eat meat when they are ill and many "sects" of vegetarians will eat eggs or seafood.
What this means is that within you, you have a tendency to gravitate to the extreme of one end of the spectrum. Look at the Yin/Yang symbol. It is not just negative or just positive. It is the dual nature of light and darkness that creates the whole. It is not passiveness or aggressiveness, but the balance of the two opposing forces that creates the One.
If you want to stay a vegan, fine. But you need to re-examine how to balance this passiveness in yourself, because I suspect that this is not the only area that is out of balance in your life. I'm not advising you to go out and be a jerk, but be aware that too much of anything is never good for you and you need to seek a balance.
At the end of the day it's all up to you. But for a man your age boxing and other hard sports are not for you. I would recommend bjj. It's a great art. Lots of material to learn and loads of fun. But it's very soft and there are not many injuries in it. I would try it if I were you. Maybe that's something you would like?
ok, you need to put in the sweat, rage and hard work in yourself, it sounds like you think someone else will do the learning for you. Also, a jack of all trades is good at none. You need to find one thing and really stick to it. good luck.
Oh, I would suggest for you to train in jiu jitsu, REGULARLY (at least twice a week, once a week is too long for muscle memory) for 5 years and you'll more than be able to handle yourself in a fight.
I have studied both Internal and External Martial Arts for many years. Honestly, I am still not confident in using either of them for Self Defense. I am still not flexible, my body that is. I am healthy, but I eat healthy.
I'll continue studying Martial Arts until I die, however; in my 50's (male) and am still not proficient at either. I've started when I was a kid and have studied with Masters, Grand Masters, Boxers, all types of Martial Arts, Qigong, Tai Chi, lots of forms of Karate, Kung Fu, etc... Weapons... Still, I do not feel at all confident; tried sparring and I am no good at it either.
In my 50's, don't want to get injured, not interested in tournaments, competition, etc... I have never been into any of that. However, I am also very non-aggressive; from talking to instructors that's not the reason for my lack of ability. Granted I can learn forms, etc... Fighting and being confident doesn't work for me.
Any advice would be great. I don't want to give up, yet I'm going no where. I've hired Personal Trainers who have 20 to 30+ years of Martial Arts Self Defense training, etc... No one seems to be able to teach me??? HELP Please! I worked with a Navy Seal and he gave up on me after 2 hours and didn't want to see me again; not sure why?
Thank you for your assistance.
