http://www.targetfocustraining.com/webin...
http://chirontraining.com/Site/Home.html
Those don't require any martial arts experience to benefit from and focus on self protection.
For competition and testing yourself against humans, you'll need some kind of sparring martial arts or competition system that does such things a lot.
Fight with your peers?You can't choose who to fight/spar with when you're out there, your attacker will most likely be way bigger than you and most likely your peers.
Anyway to answer your question kicking and punching focus go for muay thai, if you want more to sports then WTF taekwondo or Olympic style schools, ITF taekwondo include throws and grapple, karate if you will. I recommend ITF taekwondo though as they have more emphasis on self defence than WTF taekwondo generally but this doesn't mean that WTF taekwondo itself is useless.
If you want to fight with your peers only then most likely you fall under WTF taekwondo or any rule based sports (where for example height and weight factor will bring into consideration).Though there are still chances that you'll fight against someone bigger though.No guarantee.
That's all I can think of for now.
Hapkido might well suit you and it is very effective.
