I've been there more than once and fellow students can really make one's life miserable so I understand how you feel. It gets worse when they are the poster boy or girl of the school and the teacher takes their side and defends and or excuses their ill behavior. I never understood this either but things are what they are and the bottom line is that no matter where you go there will always be one in the bunch. If there isn't, there will be if you stay in a place long enough. So if you want to make it in martial arts you will have to get a lot thicker skin and learn to ignore idiots. Much easier said than done. This sounds harsh but I tell myself always: "Shut up and train" and stay very focused on my training, what I need to work on and what to do to progress. The person so busily working on your mistakes will neglect their own and eventually you will catch up to that person or even be better. But this takes a long time. Training is all blood, sweat and tears. Your tears will be when you have to overcome personal obstacles and not even from the pain and yours is dealing with people who put you down. Try to turn it around and find something good in it. Maybe he does have a point when pointing out your mistakes. Fix them and when he points out too many for you to fix, tell him to lay off and help you fix just two or three. Who knows, if you guys can find common ground you just might become mentors to each other, him helping you with your mistakes and you helping him become a better teacher by teaching him how to bring up and not put down. And it is OK to tell him to quit putting you down and that that does not help but also let him know what would help like limiting pointing out your mistakes. If he doesn't get it flat out ask him if he feels that insecure when you are around that he needs to point out all your mistakes in order to bring himself up because by doing so he certainly is not helping you so he must be trying to make himself feel better. Try to solve the issue by facing it and standing up to it rather than trying to hide. That too is the spirit of martial arts. Others should not dictate where you train. You should train where you want and need to train not because someone made you leave.
Face the bully. He criticizes you, you criticize him. Isn't the whole point of kendo to train your mind and spirit? Do you seriously think the real world does not have anyone like this bully? That once you go to university and graduate, you will never meet someone that they ever again?
Kendo was created to preserve and pass on that essential toughness of mind and spirit of the samurai. You think when samurais fight it is all done with niceness and etiquette? You claim your instructors say you have a strong spirit, but I don't see it from your words. Do you really know what "having spirit" means?
If you want to learn self-defense, then find a good self-defense school but don't go around looking for a nanny. You are going to college soon and the days of having someone holding your hands are soon coming to a end. If you can't develop a thick skin so that words from bad mouthing sob doesn't drive you into depression and crying fit, then how in the world do you realistically think you can face off against someone who wants to do you physical harm?
I suggest u dont learn where ur comfortable. U have a choice when it comes to martial arts. Visit local schools and make sure they r self defence oriented, not sport or competition.
well you can tell your teacher also don't be scared to tell the person.. also sounds like he maybe picking on you because he likes you.. all martial arts should lead to self defence.. if you feel like it is leading no where then change schools.. most teachers don't have time to be a mentor in follow all your needs.. he/she is there to teach you the art and you have to practice the art to develop it.. in less you do one on one training will he/she be more of mentor..
It is in the mind.
Recently kendo is nothing short of devastating and a real depression point. There was someone that had bullied me since we began in bogu together (each time he saw me, he wouldn't hesitate to tell me how slow I am and generally just picking out all my flaws as if he has none of his own). And recently he has came back (from a 6 months leave) and whenever I see him, I want to escape and cry.
^-^" I know I'm sort of old to get too immature about this... but I also want to switch dojos to find a mentor rather than just an instructor.
And I am in grade 11 right now, and university is fast approaching (so I will be out in the real world). So I think it would be good to take up a martial art that will aid in self-defense. I'm a fast-learner at martial arts, or so my dad (who taught me a little bit of kung fu) told me. And I am also told (by my kendo instructors) that I have a strong spirit.
And my dad isn't with me right now so if I were to learn self-defense, I would have to do it at another dojo.
Thanks so much for your time! :)
