You want to have a coach who cares about you, who asks you how your day went, who is a buddy of sorts. Perhaps this coach doesn't operate like that and is more about competition and winning those to prove what a good coach he is. The two of you simply don't mesh, and that's fine. If you don't like the situation, go find a coach that is more to your liking.
Every student was important as they represented me in some way and helped establish who I was and carried the standards that I held my students responsible for. It did not matter if they fought or competed or if they didn't. Unfortunately not every coach or instructor has that approach. Some are better in some ways than others and some are really great themselves but horrible at teaching and coaching others.
Your coach in some ways seems to have some shortcomings in so far as communicating with his students along with showing favoritism towards certain groups of students. As I see it the choice is really up to you and is there another decent school in your area with a good instructor? If not then you might be forced to make the choice to endure this instructor's short comings while continuing to train there or quit. Also try to not go so much by what other students think as that can be a tricky thing; its what you feel and think that is important so remove that aspect from it right now and then consider your options.
It sounds like your instructor doesnt have a great way of communication. To understand how to use something you must first explain to them how it works. He should have been open to discuss questions with you, that is what he is suppose to do. So if you ask for help with something then he should be willing to assist. Unfortunately some people who earn ranks in a style do not possess the nature to be able to teach and some do.
As for the grading thing. Well 2 years is quite common for a white belt, but the fact that you still show no confidence in yourself will be part of the problem for him not to grade up. I would not grade someone up to a blue belt unless i knew they had confidence in what they were doing. I do not grade on competition because i do not train people for competition. I teach people to use the art and if they want to go and use that in a competition then that is their prerogative but i do not teach a sport, i teach an art.
As for heel hooks you should not even be training them yet PERIOD. If you are training them then you should be warned about the seriousness of the submission prior to the training.
An instructor cannot give you the confidence in yourself, only you can do that although it does help when you have confidence in your instructor. If you lack confidence in your instructor then i suggest moving academies.
If the instructor is not being impartial to all students then Leave. If the instructor always jumps in before you can explain what you were about to do leave. The fact that you have this many issues means that it does not really matter if he is acting in a bad manner or if it is just your belief that he is. Regardless, of if it is him, you , or a bit of both of you, it would seem to me that the situation is at a point were it will not improve enough for you to feel comfortable there. Find another school/instructor. As for testing, do not let that interfere with training. Ability is what is important not belt color. No matter what belt a person has everything is clear to others when they see what you can actually do. No one can hide their capabilities when they are training.
Edit: Byron has a great wording and good advice.
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The socially awkward thing could be of hindrance. I don’t think instructors have to be social with their students, however part of being a good teacher I think is being able to not come off as being awkward. One can be a great martial artist and yet be a bad teacher.(vice and versa{refer to some boxing coaches})
The grading part I think is just bjj tradition. They just don’t do grading with standardized skill sets to master or anything like that. You just train and when you have progressed enough you get a stripe/belt. Also I don’t think most bjj people care too much about the belt thing anyway.
Perhaps he favours these kids for a reason if you catch my drift. Perhaps it's for the better your not one of his "favourites". Either way you should leave immediately jujitsu is not needed in the real world. Normally the only people who take part in such questionable activities are in elementary and forced to go along by pushy parents. If your weak and worried about being able to fight I'd say that jujitsu isn't useful in any fighting situations. Far better you find yourself a trusty bat or brick. Jujitsu versus bat ..... Only one winner I'm afraid.
Hope this helps
Hey reggie I do judo and boxing I carry around a bat and a set of stun gun knuckles and own firearms. Gun knife and training over bat.
Honestly I didn't read all that. But if you have that many complain then leave. I don't really know why you're even asking this. Just look around your area and see what is available. Look for bjj. It's close to JJ but different and hate to say it but better.
TLDNR
I stopped at "weather"
heel hooks are fine, l2p
Hi,firstly I want to apologise for this rant.
My thinking at the moment is weather I should move jiu Jitsu schools or stick it out.
Ive been training at this certain school for 2.5 years now,but some problems have arisen.
Firstly some problems about the coach:
1.He's very socially awkward.for me it seems normal to have some kind of relationship with your coach (as this is what I've experienced with my judo coach)for you to be able to grow and learn and hopefully give something back to your instructor in return one day.After 2 years I feel like I hardly know him. A plus side to him is that he received his blackbelt in brazil,his lineage is legit ament,and hes competed for a number of years.although this lack for interest in myself and favouring certain students has been greatly discouraging.an example of this lack of interest is when I was rolling with a new white belt and he asked me what a good submission for side control was,I was about to show him either a figure four arm lock or choke but noticed the instructor coming over I thought it would be best to get the advice of him!.when asked he replied with" there are many! then said as along as they are getting submitted then you know your doing the right thing"(which I think is a famous Gracie quote.) after his great advice i shook the white belts hand and moved on.(was very awkward)
Another example of this behaviour occurred a few months ago when I was rolling another white belt and He thought I was going for a heel hook!? (At the time I didn't know how to perform one as leg locks were new to me/weren't really encouraged at the school to perform them until brown.) he screamed out "what are you doing " ?!? I tired explaining I wasn't going for any submission let alone a heel hook but he didn't give me the opportunity to speak.he then proceeded to ask for the guys name I was rolling with then told me "do you want to ruin this young kids career,etc ?? " I was in shock but angry at the same time that he didn't even get the chance to explain myself and for him to also think that I would bring harm like that upon someone shows just how little he knew me.he really embarrassed me in front of the whole class.i know how to perform a heel hook now but more importantly the injury you can inflict on someone when performing this,something which I wish would of been explained to me by my coach.
2.No grading.ive been training soildly for these 2 years now (4 times a week or more) and went in a competition.The instructor tends to show more favouritism to guys/girls that compete but for those that don't there is no real encouragement or goals that could be set for students.i personally would like to compete more but mentally have no confidence which is something i assume coaches help you with if you don't believe you have the ability.aside from competing only once I feel that I've been committed to rolling everyday and learning the techniques (with over 300 lessons) really feel like I deserve the blue.i know this is obviously up to the coach but when I have higher grades telling me I shouldve been a blue belt long ago not to mention the fact that other guys haven't been graded accordingly,it really makes me question weather I should still be at this school.
Any opinions or help would be much appreciated.
Thankyou
