She could have been having a bad day, you could have taken it out of context, there could be a number of reasons why she was like that. Next time you roll with a woman do not treat her like a woman, she is there to learn to fight and defend herself against people of all sizes and genders. This can be very frustrating so maybe this annoyed her also.

Seriously there is nothing to worry about and all will be forgotten, just continue your training. Worry less about other people and more about what you are doing.

good luck

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No beginner knows where to place their hands, if you dont know just ask her and if she snaps at you then just wait until you get paired up with a better person. There would be a reason why she snapped and trust me it will have absolutely nothing to do with you.

She has no reason to snap at you. Chalk it up to her having a bad day or maybe just the fact that she is a bit*ch. Personally i would be very disappointed in my senior students if they were not helping a new student. If she does it again then ask her what her problem is and ask for a new person to be paired up with. Maybe she is menopausal and is at Jiu Jitsu so she doesnt kill her husband lol, you never know.

You've got some great answers. I'll only add this: Women in martial arts face an uphill battle that we men don't seem to have.

In competition, it's almost always gender-separated. That means, women compete against women; but women make up less than a fraction of competitors, and that means, women's competitions get cancelled more often, or in some cases, they "win" by default. Sometimes, they'll compete against the men. Sound fair?

Then there's training. Women partnering with women is no big deal. Men partnering up with women shouldn't be a big deal, either - but often, men go easy. I get it: you do not want to come off as aggressive or arrogant, etc, and so there's a delicate balance. Some women get offended because you didn't try hard enough (like in your case), while other times, women complain because you're too hard on them: you loose either way. As a new student, you haven't really fit in yet, you're still learning things that other students have already learned, and that frustrated your partner.

If I were in your shoes, I would give her the benefit of the doubt for now. She no doubt faces this uphill battle, and you "going easy" on her just put her over the edge. Yes, you were new and trying a new technique - I get it. But in her mind, that may have been just a straw that broke the camel's back, as they say. Give her another chance, maybe talk to her after class. If she is truly an arrogant person, you'll at least know where you stand, and there are no more any doubts.

Some female students don't care about close body contact and want their male counterparts to treat and work out with them the same as if they were all males. She obviously wants that and expects it I think. I would tell her that you are new and just starting out in this and are not sure how hard or how vigorously you should apply something. That's alright also because sometimes beginners don't think about that or understand that "touch" and how hard and vigorously you apply something should be learned and developed over time and gradually so as to avoid injuring others during training.

One other thing about this situation is while you are basically taking this for fun and recreation sometimes others have a more serious reason or purpose in mind. When paired with them you might have to up your efforts in some ways because they want to be pushed and challenged some so that they can develop their own skills, knowledge, and ability to a higher level. That is one of the things a good partner does is they help that other person get better and hopefully its reciprocated with them doing the same when working with you.

Listen to the instructor. He said you are doing fine. Trust him or her. Yes the student was being offensive and a bit out of line. I discourage strongly that kind of behavior in my students. I do encourage senior students to be helpful with new students by being encouraging. Let the instructor know (privately) how you feel about this individual. As a student coming up the ranks I have had all kinds of training partners. I only had to complain about one of them who was really obnoxious.





Another approach might be to have a conversation with this woman and explain how you feel. Perhaps you two can come to an understanding. From her point of view being serious with her training she may feel like you are wasting her time by not being a good partner. She is correct in saying unless you do your part as though you were following through the moves don't work very well.



She could be more helpful explaining rather than insulting, encouraging rather then condemning. I teach all my students PCP "Praise correct Praise" it is a great way to create a collegial atmosphere on the floor.





Remember it is a Martial Art; the word Martial is significant so a certain attitude of intention is expected. It doesn't mean you can't have fun smile or laugh. It does mean you need to bring some intention to your moves. Have fun. At some point it will be good to do her a great hip through. Remember to smile.

It's hard to tell you what to do based on only a short description. But common sense and basic human respect will go a long way. So I think you're doing the right things.

In other words you're going at your own pace and making sure not to hurt someone while learning. That's the right thing to do.

You didn't snap back at her but rather let the teacher tell you that you were doing fine.. That's good

So ignore her for now and keep doing what you're doing. If she continues to act that way then tell her you're there to learn and you don't want to hurt anyone. You appreciate her input and will get faster, harder, etc once you are comfortable with the basics you're learning.

If that doesn't work then talk to the teacher.

Otherwise, chalk it up to her either having a bad day, or being a jerk and don't let it ruin the class for you.

She probably shouldn't have snapped at you but I do understand it. The last thing is women who are serious about the training and really want to train do not want to be treated like they have the plague. You admitted you had trouble placing your hands and in your mind you were trying to be considerate and respectful and you were preoccupied with this. All you could think of was female body parts and your mind surely wasn't with the technique. She probably could exactly see where your mind was at and took offense. There is nothing sexual about the training and if your mind is there this is not exactly a pleasant situation for the woman either. There is only technique.

Possum is right. In martial arts women do face an uphill battle all the way. It is extremely difficult for women to make it and most who do have a male partner in martial arts such as a husband to support her all the way.

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You need to look at the bigger picture. Having taught martial arts for a long time, I get an ear full from female students on the same issue. Guys often feel like they need to go easy on a female student. So they go easier or slower thinking that is what they should do. Many of the female students see this as guys seeing them as weak and not able to take it. This ticks many of them off, especially if their main goal for training is to develop realistic self-defense. They know they can't have their workout partner go easy on them and expect to know if they can defend themselves. The chances are that if they are really attacked they will have a male attacker who will not go easy on them.

You need to step it up a bit but still keep it in mind that you are working with a female. Go to hard on her and that will get you in trouble. go to light and you still have the same problem. If you can't find it in yourself to do this respectfully then you need to talk to your instructor in private and find an alternative.

AND, you need to do this as soon as possible.

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Go a bit more realistic on her, until she is satisfied with the amount of realism that you add. In martial arts people are coming from different backgrounds, with different ideas, context and ways. Most of people are coming for an interesting way of exercising, for fun and for polishing a bit their skills.Not all of them are like that though and because we don't know what may have happened to some, is better just to give them a bit what they need.:)

See this video (all of it is just 3,30 minutes) to understand bit more on a good context for martial arts.