The part that gets difficult is when it appears that there will be lasting damages(broken bones, disability, or death) that may occur. You are NOT legally or often not even socially bound to step in, but if you decide to you must have some training to deal with violence.(Btw, you are not expected to step in because we, as a society,pay a good group of professionals(cops) to deal with situations like these{thus, get help as soon as you can}) You want to verbally stop the violence and convince the attacks to go away. If you have the ability to fight through training, then you'll be confident and they'll be able to see that. In general you do not mess with a person that walks into battlefield with confidence. You can not just start attacking these attackers from their attack on the other person alone. If they try to attack you resulting from your attempt to stop and chase them away, only then can you start engaging. With that said make sure a help of some kind is coming before even attempting any of this because you want to be the one to have called the cops not just be part of the ones that cops/authorities are trying to disengage. (hard to tell who's the good guy when you just walk in to a scene of a fight.)
As far as training goes it depends on what's availible around you. The thing is what style you learn matter much less than who's your teacher. Even the best style taught by the worst teacher is worst than worst style taught by the best teacher. So I would try googling and try stopping by few places. Most of the time they'll give a free demo lesson, and even if you don't join them you'll have picked something up. Lastly I'm going to warn you against learning only bjj. BJJ in my opinion is a great art and I think everyone needs to learn it(or equivant ground fighting style) to a certain degree. However for self defense it should only be part of your defensive tactic and should not be your main offensive tactic. The reason is that ground fighting is bad tactics when dealing with multiple opponents(that may pop out of nowhere) and often bad tactic against an armed opponents(especially if you are not aware that they are armed).
Your feelings are understandable, but your reaction to how you feel needs to be considered more thoroughly.
First, no human being with an ounce of decency likes seeing another human being brutalized. You did the right thing given the circumstances, so there is no reason to feel guilty or inadequate.
Second, knowing how to defend yourself is IMO a good thing considering the alternative if no one else is there to help you. However, to be able to effectively defend yourself takes long years of dedicated training under a good instructor. This means 3 things:
1) A style does NOT tell you anything about its effectiveness. It is the quality of the teacher and the training he gives you that determines whether or not any style of martial art is effective. A crappy teacher in Aikido or any style of martial art will not help teach you how to defend yourself. Crap is crap - doesn't matter who hands it to you.
2) You are not going to be Steven Seagal in 5 easy lessons or 500 lessons. By the time you reach a level of skill that can reasonable give you an advantage against someone determine to hurt or kill you, it will be years down the road. If you have the desire and determination, then more power to you. If you don't, then this will be nothing but an expensive fad. Furthermore, any skill you attain has to be maintained through regular training. You do NOT just reach a level mastery and then stop all training. This is why it has been said that martial art is a lifelong journey. So if you think that once you get a black belt that's it and you can sit back and take it easy, think again.
3) Reality check. In life there are no-win situations where no matter how good you are you will not win. When you step into a violent confrontation, you take a chance that it could be it. There is no real sure way to know how things will turn out. Being a highly trained martial artist does not mean you are then free to throw caution to the wind. If anything, the more you learn about self-defense the more you realize just how easy it is to be seriously hurt or killed. This means you still have to use your common sense.
The best fight fought is one you did not have to fight. However, there are those very rare situations where talking or psychology doesn't work. Although, when it comes down to it, you want something that won't harm the person. Akido, like you said, is a good example of this. Wrestling, or basically anything that restrains the person without physical harm as help is called to end the fight, is the best form of defense in that situation. You don't know the two sides of an argument and the person going at someone might have been bullied in the past or had something done to make him act that way. There is a reason for everything, and the person doing the harming were probably harmed themself. Restraint of a person, not physical harm, is the best option to learn if you want to know how to fight. However, remember, talking and not fighting someone is even better.
Take mma classes, bjj classes, judo classes, wrestling classes or anything you can get your hands on. Aikido is considered a "soft" martial art but some of the techniques look useful, no offence but aikido wont help much.
join a gym dude
Really it best you avoid fights altogether...... But if need arises you should:
Stay back, do not throw the first punch
When I see fights everyone forgets that they have legs kick the ........ bits
Block and counter attack,
Haha I sound like a crappy karate instructor, but I think that is the jist of it
Take mma classes, bjj classes, judo classes, wrestling classes or anything you can get your hands on. Aikido is considered a "soft" martial art but some of the techniques look useful.
you should look that up or take some clases for it
I'm a diplomatic guy, and not a very violent one. But I want to be able to defend myself, and others. Just a month ago, I saw a innocent get his face pounded on by an older kid, and I froze. Of course I told some teachers and administrators. But I could've' done way more. All I did was report the incident. I want to be the defender next time, not the silent hero. The kid's face was horribly bleeding and his mother was raging mad. She thanked me for immediately reporting the debacle, but I feel like I could've done more. I'm pretty muscular, but the fights that I used to get in when I was in elementary school would end quickly by me throwing one punch. I'm seriously doubting my ability to punch, and everyone around me seems like they wanna' eat me. I'm not a fighter, but every situation can't be negotiated. Could I use Aikido or something? What? How do I physically show potential enemies that I'm a force to be reckoned with? I just don't want to see another innocent get hurt......
Also, I'm a big nerd.
